All At Once Everything Looks Different Now That I See You

Photo Credit: Katie Drumm Photography

Photo Credit: Katie Drumm Photography

It’s one of those dilemmas of motherhood… do I clean my kitchen or write this blog post? The baby has been sufficiently bounced to sleep and I have *maybe* a spare hour. Now, fingers crossed that he sleeps long enough for me to finish this post.

I have literally written this post three or four different ways. (And one of them was even a poem!) I have been trying to capture all the emotions and thoughts that I have about motherhood. But nothing has even come close to depicting the things that I am feeling. So I figured I would simply write. No fancy rhyming or alliterated points. I want to make sure that I get down a few of these thoughts.

Everything looks so different now that I have a baby. From my birth plan to parenting, nothing has gone the way that I thought it would. And it is been a beautiful and humbling experience.

My devotions look different. I used to get up early to spend concentrated time with the Lord. With a six week old, that has pretty much gone out the window. Now I read the Word on my phone while I am nursing and I listen to sermons while I am nursing and I read a book while I am nursing. (I spend. so. much. time. nursing). And I have come to realize how I was letting a devotion “time” define my spirituality. Now that there is no set time, I can’t check it off my list. And it has been a good heart check for me.

My worship looks different.  If I am honest, I did not spend a lot of time just worshipping the Lord before I had a baby. My son loves to be sung too. I want him to grow up knowing hymns, so I sing him a lot of hymns and worship songs. But one day I realized that I should be singing to the Lord, not just to my son. There have been many 3:00am or 4:00am worship sessions and it has been a really precious time of worshipping the Lord. It keeps my focus on heaven and what is important instead of on the crying baby.

My theology looks different. Theological concepts have gone from black and white to color. I am getting firsthand experience about what it looks like to long for the Word like a nursing babe. Or to have faith like a child. God is showing me much about Himself through motherhood.

My body looks different. Just go read this blog post. Blogger Becky Thompson says it way better than I ever could. Good stuff.

My marriage looks different. We have a huge responsibility now that we did not have before. It is time consuming and thought consuming. We have to work harder a being a team than we ever did before. We have to be careful that we do not let comparison eat away at our attitudes. It doesn’t matter who sleeps more or works more (Sorry, honey!).  And if our plans get changed by our little one, we have to put aside our own comfort and our own well-being for that of our child. And as hard as it is, I think it is making our marriage stronger as learn more about each other in these new roles.

My mothering looks different. There are so many things that I said I would never do, that I now do on a daily basis! (e.g. using a white noise machine! Again, sorry, honey!) It is humbling to realize that you were wrong and that seems to happen to me frequently now that our baby has arrived. The Lord has used motherhood to humble me and shape me to be more like Him.

Motherhood has been hard. But I would not trade it for anything. My whole world looks different, but I am thankful. Motherhood has helped me see what is in my heart and to better understand the truth of the Gospel.

God sent His precious Son to save us. He chose us to be His children. And He uses motherhood and fatherhood to depict what wonderful things He has done for us.

(And the baby is still sleeping!!! :-) )

4 Things I’ve Learned About Marriage By Having a Baby


My husband and I have been together for five years. We went to college together and one or both of us has been in school since we met. We have served together in children’s ministry, outreach ministries, and youth ministry. We have also worked together in several job scenarios. I have been his boss and he has been mine. All of those situations has taught us something different about each other.

But none of those experiences has taught us as much about each other as having a baby has. There is nothing quite like waking up several times in the night to quickly show you what exactly is in your heart!

Surprisingly, having a baby has taught us a lot about marriage.

1. Partnership

We are learning how important it is to be a team. You have so many decisions to make as parents and it is crucial that you are on the same page. Parenting is that much more difficult when you can’t come to an agreement.

Also, your spouse is your biggest advocate. We have had a hard first month as parents. Our baby has had big nursing issues that have caused him to not gain weight and to cry a ton. The most helpful thing to me has been my husband’s encouragement. He encourages me and even points out when I need to ask for help. He is my biggest advocate. Without him, parenting would be so much harder!

2. Relationship

The baby is time-consuming. But we are learning to not let it consume our marriage. We work hard to carve out time at the end of the day to spend time just being a couple. It would be easy just to talk about the baby, but we are working hard to prioritize our marriage. It is refreshing and relaxing to spend time focusing on one another at the end of a long day.

3. Sportsmanship 

It is important to be a good loser! I am not saying that one person “wins” parenting, but it is necessary to be able to admit when you are wrong.

I did not believe in any of the “fourth trimester” stuff before I had my son. I scoffed at white noise, dark rooms, and swaddling. Well, guess what? The only way we have gotten our son to sleep is by having some sort of noise in the background. I have had to admit that I am wrong and we have had a good laugh about it. I think that if we were not willing to admit when we are wrong, it would damper our marriage.

4. Worship 

As always, the priority in your marriage and in your life needs to be Christ. It is essential that you encourage your spouse to be a worshipper. Life gets a lot more crazy after having a baby and it gets harder to prioritize your spiritual life. Don’t forsake praying together, reading Scripture together, and serving together as life with a baby allows!

Flexibility and adaptability are key after you have a baby. Our lives have been turned upside down and we are learning how to navigate this new season. It is crucial for us to remember to support one another, prioritize our marriage, admit when we are wrong, and to worship the Lord together.

What is the biggest thing that changed for you after having a baby? 


Being Discerning as New Parents


We read books, we took classes, we talked to friends, we researched – all to get ready for the new little life that God blessed us with. We tried our best to be prepared to be new parents.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the amount of decisions that we would have to make for our little guy. Our decisions used to be between going out to dinner or staying home, Netflix or Redbox, chocolate chip cookies or snickerdoodles. Now we are deciding on vaccinations, circumcision, epidurals, delayed cord cutting, and a hundred other serious questions.

After our birth class each Thursday night, I used to feel like crying. I was overwhelmed with all the conflicting opinions that I was presented with. How do you decide between all the options? Everyone was so confident that their way was the right way.

As my husband and I waded through the decisions (and continue to wade through), we remind ourselves of what we trust in.

Trust Scripture

First and foremost, we must trust what Scripture says. God’s Word is the handbook by which we base all of our parenting decisions. So it must be the first thing we turn to and the source that we trust. If God’s Word says to discipline our children or for children to obey their parents, this is what we must abide by. As parents, we are called to obey the commands of Scripture. And since we know that the Bible is infallible, we know that we can trust it.

Trust Your Husband

Unfortunately, many of the decisions that we make are not spelled out for us in Scripture. Believe me, I wish the Bible told us how to handle vaccines or what kind of car seat to buy. Life would be a lot simpler! There are a lot of decisions that just come down to choosing (based, of course, on Scriptural principles). My husband ends up making a lot of these decisions for our family. I am thankful that the Lord has put a godly man in my life that I can trust. I firmly believe that the Lord works through our husbands to lead us. Wives need to trust and submit to the leading of their men.

Trust Those You Trust

The Lord has also placed wise family and mentors in our life that we trust. I am thankful that we can turn to them for guidance. I encourage you to develop relationships with older, godly people who you can turn to as new parents for counsel.

Trust God 

Being new parents is probably the scariest and most humbling thing that we have ever done! There are a lot of times when we just have to pray and trust the Lord that He is in control! We have sought Scripture, listened to wise counsel, and we have to just make a decision. It has given me tremendous peace to know that God is ultimately in control and knows what is best for my child.

There is a big learning curve as new parents! It is been helpful to remind ourselves of the things that we can trust in!

What has helped you make decisions as a new parent?

A Watched Pot Never Boils: Why Waiting is So Hard

a watched pot never boils

I am horrible at waiting. I don’t wait well. I get anxious. I get weepy. And I pray a lot of “Why Lord?” prayers.

I am three days overdue with my first baby now and the waiting is not getting any easier. I think the phrase “a watched pot never boils” was actually referring to overdue women. The more eagerly we expect this baby the further away the birth seems.

I have had a lot of middle of the night bathroom breaks to think about why waiting is so hard. This is what I have come up with.

Waiting reminds us we are not in control. 

Our flesh craves control. We want things to work out when we want and how we want. We get frustrated when things do not go our way. Waiting reminds us that we are not sovereign, almighty, or all-powerful. The waiting room is where the Great Physician cures our pride with a big dose of humility.

Waiting causes us to face our fears. 

Waiting is scary because we have to deal with all our “what if” fears. My mind is always tempted to go to the worst possible scenario when my plans are put on hold. When we do not immediately get what we want, we have to face our doubts and worries. Waiting gives us the opportunity to actively trust in God’s good purposes and ultimate plan. Waiting is the haunted house in which we must face the fears that are lurking in the corners of our hearts.

Waiting forces us to deal with our selfishness. 

How do we handle it when someone else gets what we want? Do we respond with joy when someone easily gets what we have agonized in prayer over? Waiting forces us to address the selfishness that reigns our flesh. Waiting is the battleground in which we fight to keep selfishness from capturing our hearts.

Waiting is hard work. It is hard to simultaneously fight our flesh, face our fears, and stop our selfishness. Yet it is the means that God uses to conform us to His image and to help us to grow. He orchestrates periods of waiting so that we might become more like Him.

So the question is, how are we going to use these waiting times? Are we going to wallow in self-pity or see them as opportunities to grow?

Here are six reasons that God might keep you waiting.  



5 Benefits of Reading the Same Thing

Bible reading

For the past few months, I have been reading Philippians over and over and over again. It has stretched me and simultaneously been a huge blessing in my life.

I encourage you to challenge yourself to pick a book of the Bible (or passage) and read it every day for a significant period of time. The benefits of reading the same thing will bless you in these five ways.

  1. It will stretch you  – I will be honest I have had to work hard at reading the same thing over and over again. My flesh gets bored with reading the same thing. I have to fight it and force myself to read the same thing day after day. But making myself do the same thing is helping me grow in the area of discipline.
  2. It focuses your devotions – Reading the same thing has helped my devotions to be more focused. I know what I am spending my time on and don’t spend any time flipping around wondering what I am going to read. It also helps me focus my prayer life as I pray through things I have learned in the passage.
  3. It helps you know the passage – I am learning inside and out what the book of Philippians is about. It has been encouraging to be able to easily recall where specific verses are in the book. I have become very familiar with each chapter from reading it so many times.
  4. It helps you memorize the passage – My long-term goal is to memorize the book of Philippians. Reading it day after day has already helped me to almost memorize large chunks of the book.
  5. It reveals how there is always more to learn – I learn something new every single day. It does not matter how many times I read the book, there is always a new truth that sticks out to me each day.

Start today! Reap the benefits of reading the same thing!